Beam Me Up

If I could have any superpower, it would, without a doubt, hands down, be teleportation.

So underrated! When will it ever get its due? Maybe when Hollywood decides to make a really expensive movie about it? (I suggest Natalie Portman to play me!)

I've thought a lot about this superpower recently because Mary and her mother Patricia had been on the road, attempting a cross-country trek from our hometown in Louisville, Ky., to Los Angeles. That's 2,200 hard miles, even under ideal conditions. And as we all know, those don't exist. Their trip was complicated before it even go started, and it became more so as the miles wore on. (No spoilers here -- catch up by scrolling and reading).

If I had to do that drive again -- and I've sworn I never will -- I'd be praying like crazy to the gods at DC Comics or Stan Lee or the Pope or anybody who might be at all helpful in this matter. Just teleport me there. Please! Otherwise, it's not happening.

Note: There was a time, back in the days when air travel was glamourous and fun and didn't resemble riding on a giant city bus in the sky, where a plane trip was about as close as mere mortals could come to teleportation.

Alas, it's overstuffed and germy and annoying and slow now. Not at all like the "Bewitched" twinkle-the-nose or snap-the-fingers and pop up in the place you want to be. No, it's nothing like that.

Not that I have one handy, but not even a jet pack will do the trick.

So I'll keep dreaming about that most useful and freeing superpower. And I'll remain forever grateful that I didn't just have to make the arduous and exhausting trip (via blacktop and toll roads and other down-to-Earth avenues) that my friends Mary and Pat just made. (Read on to see how it all unfolded).

Look Ma, No Hands!

It would've been cool but completely unrealistic if Mary could've posted and Tweeted her little fingers off as she crossed the country. But since she was doing the actual driving -- not being ferried in high style, like, in a limo or something -- she had to pick and choose her opportunities.

Luckily for all of us keeping track, she still managed -- with a safe 10 and 2 grasp on the wheel at all times, no doubt -- to give us some peeks into a journey that ended far more differently than it began. Mary and Patricia, with a newly banged-up knee, got in the car together in our hometown of Louisville, Ky., on Sunday, March 20.

By Wednesday the 23rd, the trip was taking its toll on both of them. The anxiety, for Mary at least, was mounting more quickly than the miles driven.

So the next day, Mary put Patricia on a plane and made the rest of the trip alone, stumbling across rapidly climbing gas rates, all her favorite songs via her iPod playlist, a trucker who watched out for her and a shady fellow traveler up to no good.

A tidbit I really love is the darling Marky Mark Wahlberg look-alike who greeted her at the California border. No, she wasn't trying to smuggle any fruit from a buggy place into our Western paradise, but if I'd been her, I would've tried to think of some way to prolong that all-too-brief conversation.

Check out her posts from the road -- just keep scrolling down -- and don't forget the Twitter feed on the upper right. There are photos and videos, too, so don't skip anything.

Like Mary's already said, this isn't the end of the story. She may be back here now in Burbank, but so is Pat, just starting a completely new chapter of her life at an assisted living facility. Since getting here was kind of an ordeal, the travel itself has likely been a distraction. Now may come some real adjustments for everyone involved, mostly Pat.

Her new home is lovely, but it's not her home just yet. She may settle in, meaning unpack her clothes and arrange the furniture as soon as the movers arrive. But that's a superficial kind of settling in.

There's plenty more to come. So keep checking back. Again, we haven't decided on a name change for the blog yet, but today I'm calling it MarysStillMovingMom.

Take Your Pick

Mom reviewing the schedule of activities for the week. She's already very pleased with the place.

Controlled Chaos

The realtor from Louisville calling Mom about the sale of the house while she is signing all the paperwork for her Burbank move-in. Who says Mom can't multitask!

Grammy & Isaac

New Key

The State of Things

Like I said before: it's far from over.

In about a half hour, we will take mom for her medical assessment at the assisted living facility that will be her home. I'm trying to let go of any expectations I may have of this event. It's important to keep an open mind to what they will observe and recommend.

I'll be posting updates about the situation, of course. Wish us luck today!