My first mistake was leaving the house without having breakfast. Oh, it made sense at the time, but I really know better than that. I come from a long line of people who tend toward hypoglycemia and, therefore, become quite nasty when hungry.
I was running a bunch of errands -- you know, more stuff to do before I leave -- one of which was to go to the local AAA office and get the maps and guide books for the driving route back from Kentucky. How complicated is that?
Well, usually, it isn't. Today, however, I checked in and took my "seat in the middle," the group of chairs that amounts to the waiting area. I sat and sat and sat some more. And then I sat a little longer. I was keeping myself busy texting and reading stuff on my phone when I realized I had been waiting a full 20 minutes. I should have gotten up right that minute but I waited some more, a poor judgment call no doubt influenced by my lack of nourishment. So I started getting annoyed.
Finally I walked over to the check-in desk and tersely informed them that I had been waiting 30 minutes (it actually may have been more but 30 was enough to make my point). The receptionist dialed a few numbers and told me someone would be with me shortly. Hmmm. Could those numbers not have been dialed 30 minutes ago?
I again took my "seat in the middle" and waited. Two names were called before mine -- they needed other services so it's not like they were bumping me but I was still peeved. I decided enough was enough and that if my name was not the next one called, I was leaving.
Guess what...my name was not the next one called. I stood up and muttered, "I am not waiting" and marched for the exit. I was almost through the door when I thought I heard...no, could it be?...MY NAME BEING CALLED!!!
I turned around and walked up to the window in the travel section but the woman there said she hadn't called me. "It might be Window 10," she said. Okay, hello Window 10, did you call me? Nope. Try Window 8. Seriously?? I take the few steps to Window 8 as that clerk is calling a man's name. I stare at her. She stares at me and my membership card. "Did you call my name?" Yes, she did. "I'll take care of you right after I help this man."
KA-BOOM!
No, no you won't. I stormed out in a state of subdued fury (is there such a thing?). Although there is some good news: I left without tearing anyone a new you-know-what, which is what I would have done in my younger, less humble days. I'm so glad I didn't take it out on anyone because I really do not wish to be that person anymore. It's not someone else's job to be my punching bag because I was inconvenienced. Besides, I was the one who decided to skip breakfast and wait too long before speaking up to the check-in desk.
When I got in the car I felt so angry that I called a friend to vent. After a little discussion I could see that I'm trying to do to much. I'm trying to prepare for every possible need or situation my mom and I could encounter during the move. As soon as I said it out loud, I realized how absurd that really is. My heart is in the right place, wanting to make things as easy on my mom as possible. But the truth is I don't have that kind of power. This move is going to be challenging and messy and overwhelming. I can't protect her or myself from that fact. I can accept the reality or drive myself (and others) crazy trying to make everything work out, which it won't anyway. At least not the way I think it's supposed to.
Instead of trying to fix the world, I'm going to make a sandwich now.
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